Red Velvet Cupcakes, or how to stain your hands and worktops red by Miss P and The Boy Wonder

Birthdays are not the time for fancy Patisserie, they are the time for full on kitsch.
A step by step guide to preparing some Ferrari Red Velvet Cupcakes

1. Cherchez a recipe that doesn't involve those American cups of flour and sticks of butter, we found this one from the Daily Telegraph

5oz/140g self-raising flour
2 tbsp cocoa
Half tsp bicarbonate of soda
4floz/110ml buttermilk
1 tsp vinegar
Half tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp red food colouring
2oz/60g butter at room temperature
6oz/170g caster sugar
1 large egg
To decorate:
Cream-cheese frosting (see box) and fresh cherries
Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/gas mark 3. Line a 12-hole cup cake tin with cases.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa, bicarb and a pinch of salt. In a mug, mix the buttermilk, vinegar, vanilla and red food colouring.
Beat the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. Beat in the egg a little at a time. Mix in a third of the flour mixture, followed by half the buttermilk mixture, then another third of the flour, the rest of the buttermilk and finally the last of the flour mixture.
Divide the mixture between the paper cases. Bake for 20 minutes, until risen and springy - don't overcook them.
Cool on a rack.
To decorate, pipe on the frosting and top with a cherry.

Then simply set on fire and eat. If like us your hand slips and the whole bottle of colouring ends up in the mix, be prepared for a slight cochineal after taste. Enjoy xoxo