Dear Mr Grassmere Farm

This morning The Hound and I trotted down Stamford High Street to your stall on the farmers market, only to find that the pig's ears had been left behind. This also happened last time, meaning that The Hound has had to go without his favourite amuse -bouche for a whole month. He is now crestfallen.

In order that you understand the severity of the issue, he has also asked me to boycott your products for a fortnight, which is indeed a great shame as i am rather partial to your black pudding.

Yours in anticipation of a full English very soon

Miss P.

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