Floristry 20% flowers 80% relationship counsellor

This morning a lady came in clutching a message card from one of our bouquets.

What does this message mean she asked?

Does he want to be friends or more? Because it could mean either, and he hasn’t called since we had dinner, and the message is ambiguous, and i like him but not if he doesn’t like me, and i don’t want to say that i like him, and i am probably not his type. How did he sound on the phone?, like he wanted to ravish me or does he just see me as a somebody to hang out with? I thought i was really obvious that i was into him, maybe i was too obvious maybe that out him off? Or what if he is just really gentlemanly and is playing it slow? Or what if is just not that into me?

And so a plea, to all men, please if you like a girl in a way that one day you might like to lie down with her in the same bed, and that day doesn’t have to be soon, but that that is what you are thinking, please, please for the love of god, hit her over the head with something and drag her back to your cave.

I am a florist not a relate counsellor, i don’t have the answers.

Then later a man came in, and spent a lot of time staring at my breasts (high necked top).

“Seriously” said I, “they are not even on show”

“Sorry” said he

“ You have a coffee stain on your top, and i was just wondering whether to tell you or not”

There is a moral in this tale somewhere, i am just not sure where, or what it is, do you? Do you have advice for the lady? She knows we are having this discussion and is standing by her PC, highly illegally in a fancy corporate office. Share the tales of how you just need to find the exception, because deep down, that is what she wants to hear.

All i know is that i am a klutz when it comes to drinking coffee.

and that it seems yesterday's post is forever lost in the abyss. Maybe it is a sign?


Becca said...

Is this one of your coded messages?

I think that sometes rather than think 'what would jack bauer' do we should think 'what would miss P do'.

And whilst the answer would more than almost be 'stick red lipstick on and paint my toenails scarlet' it's often a start in the midst of questions.

I think she should be grateful he sent her flowers and I think that as Miss P's flowers tend to be romantic more than lustful (I.e there are no spikes) she should read lovely things into it and that his intentions are honourable.

It's 6 o'clock too. Surely all corporate types should be out drinking Gin by now?

I am going home to drink tea and watch Kings Speech (for the first time).

joebloggs said...

The only reason this man would not want to "lay down in bed" with this woman in the very near future is if she was a total psycho, he has bought her dinner AND flowers, one word..Investment! As for the coffee stain...... get out clause #1.They teach us chaps that at nursery school!
Lurked for a while now and my first comment had to be this(hangs head in shame).
Keep up the fab photos and loving your work.

Miss Pickering said...

No not every blog post has a code.

But there isn't a girl on the planet who hasn't wondered the same thing at one point?

My general opnion is that if you have to ask he is just not that into you. I have had that drilled into me by Cityboy1 who flew all the way to the USA to buy me the book of said title. In my youth i had a terrible habit of falling for the wrong boys.

The Kings speech is brilliant, Colin Firth and everything

Miss Pickering said...

Well hello Joe,

Thank you for your comment, it has just made me laugh out loud. Your opinion is very much appreciated.

At nursery school you say?

So much to learn.

George's Mum said...

Flowers post dinner is surely, surely a good sign?? People are lucky to get a text message these days let alone a Miss P creation!!

Perhaps he's actually a gentleman?!

Has she said thank you for the flowers?


Mrs B said...

Oh lovely lady, don't stand by the corporate PC...go out and drink gin/ vino and worry about it in the morning.

If however, you are still there this is what I think....
erm......hellooooooo, as if he's not interested.

Anonymous said...

speaking as a bloke always struggling to understand lifes little romantic quandries, i would say she got "resultttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt"

Dan said...

If someone took me for dinner and then bought me flowers I'd be pretty impressed. I would appreciate a call too however! Perhaps the gentleman is waiting for a call to say thank you for the flowers, and another suggestion of dinner?

Primchick said...

Coffee stain.... have you not heard of 'vanish' girl friend?? :oP

stephen@scent said...

becca! me and my friend charlotte (both florists) always play the 'what would miss p do' game - every floral crisis is met by a considered pause and a 'WWMPD' moment....

Shelley said...

If a guy sends flowers, one thing is clear: he's thinking about you... one way or the other.

AND, Miss P. my blog from two days ago disappeared right off my blog and into the blogosphere!

Kay said...

i'm so glad i didn't blog yesterday as it seems the whole day has been lost in the ether.....and i thought today was friday the thirteenth!!??....is it a new game'WWMPD'? I would patent it quick if i were you...xx

Urbanstems said...

Dinner and flowers..that is all good surely? Whats with all these men blogging? What have you started Miss P! Just shows there are gentlemen out there ..Sinead

Rachel {finch & thistle} said...

My hubby always assures me that men are very simple and straightforward and do not act with hidden meanings. That logic being true then I would assume that the gentleman likes the lady and she should call him to thank him for the beautiful bouquet. Ordering flowers takes a lot of effort for a man who is not interested...

Miss Pickering said...

Goodness i had better fill in a few more gaps. She rang him to thank him for the flowers, and left a message, and he hasn't returned her call. ?

Also and perhaps a clincher here, he apparently made no attempt to kiss her, which is what caused her to turn up at my door.

Also I for one am loving the comments, you are all so insightful.

In the case of WWMPD?...gin, fret, more gin.

Procris said...

Due to an incident in college, my group of friends refers to this as the "Brandenburg Concertos Effect."

This did not happen to me, however it became a life lesson for us all: Basically, if a lovely young man takes you out to dinner at the hands-down most expensive place in town, and subsequently takes you to the Brandenburg Concertos, this evening is, in fact, a Date. One should not inquire at intermission at the Concertos, "Is this a Date?" Because it is. Very much so. Dinner + Concert, or in this case, Dinner + Flowers? He is interested in you. It is a formula to be learned.

Mother Hen said...

I can assure you all, she is ace at fretting and is now the proud owner of the unique "navy strength " Plymouth gin xxx

Adam said...

CityBoy1 here.
As I've told Miss P many times in the past through verbal lessons and living examples - us boys aren't that complicated, but we are a mix of cautious and reckless.
Things to remember
1) No man sends flowers to someone he isn’t interested in
2) He has made a gesture and now wants to see if there is reciprocation – reckless + cautious.
3) How can your liking him be conditional on his liking you? - to a man that is madness; we like you whether you like us or not and we live with the outcome.
4) Too obvious to a women is never obvious to a man – unless you’ve started pole-dancing at the dinner table
5) No man is as complicated as a woman so all the triple and quadruple bluffs you torture yourself with don’t exist – we just don’t have that depth.

Just Jane Grace said...

Laughing out loud in California - thanks for helping me end my Friday with a big smile (and I'm neither florist nor dating but happily married for a very long time and have no wisdom to contribute but a smile). Happy weekend everyone.

Miss Pickering said...

This has to be the best post on this blog, who needs my quick wit, when you do it so much better. The debate raged on in our house.

Cityboy1 - the bluffing only starts because of the uncertainty, ultimately girls are as basic as boys. We have decided to blame the "he's just not that into you" book, because when girls get together to discuss this sort of thing, there is always one that pips up "maybe, he's just not that into you, move on" this girl is normally me, and you bought me the book.

Boys you must ALWAYS send a girl flowers, and the message should read I AM INTO YOU.

Everyone is a winner, love will blossom, i will do the wedding flowers.

Brambles Florists said...

Love this post... might i suggest that your customer reads this book: The Complete book of Rules, Tried and tested secrets of capturing the heart of Mr Right... Author Ellen Fien... Actually, every girl should read it, just for a laugh if nothing else x