Are you looking to break into the Astroturf market, and just need a garden to practice on? Then look no further, I am your woman.
Once upon a time my lawn looked like this
But after The Hound came to stay, it looks like this.
We only require a small circular lawn of about 2 metres in diameter, and a small path to get to it....
In return, you can emblazon the slogans "As used by Miss P." "Hound-proof" all over your pamphlets. Plus we will invite you to all the soirees we fully intend to have if only we had a lawn, all bunting, 1950's floral dresses and delectable food.
How about if you are the marketing director for a big company, wouldn't you like to sponsor a new lawn? you can put a big corporate sign on it, like on a municipal roundabout.
What if The Hound reclined on the astroturf with only one of your corporate baseball caps to protect his modesty?
"Miss P.! Have you no shame?"
No, I am a woman on the edge. I personally laid the second lawn single-handedly, single-handedly I tell you.